Dear heavenly Father.  I lift up the campers of salkehatchie camp in Pendleton. that they would not be left feeling alone in the storm that is life away from camp but that they would be encouraged and enthralled with the love and grace that was heavily pressed upon the hearts of the speakers. i thank you for the adults who spent time investing into the lives of these youth. for them i pray their efforts would be rewarded in some ways. my life has been immensely blessed by having been able to speak and also to listen to the stories of the young adults. God i do not deserve such love and adoration from youth but yet you shower it upon me. why? i thank you any way. thank you so much for a safe year and for houses to be completed. i thank you for safe and dry houses with new roofs, new floors, new paint, but most of all hopefully lifted homeowners. this year will be tough but i do truly plead that you speak to the kids as they are away. that you so them OBVIOUS ways out of sin and ways to do your will in very radical ways. your such an awesome God that we do not even comprehend most of the time. thank you so much for Jesus and for the loving sacrifice that you made for our everlasting life. i hope that in some way you will one day be able to say to the youth of this nation that we were GOOD and FAITHFUL servants.  I thank you so much for the blessings of technology that has gifted me with being able to reach to anyone who has a connection to the internet. i just pray that the words read here would affect one soul. that what is said of you will be heard and what is wasteful would fall by the wasteside. thank you lord for all that you are and mean in your rising. i love you and you are my portion. let me serve you, i beg. where you lead i will follow, to be a pastor, a business man, it makes no difference. you direct my path and i pray that you would anoint my future marriage with Haley. thank you lord for all that you mean. AMEN

guys i love you and cant wait to hear whats going on in your lives. EMAIL me or call me!! if you need my number email me first. my email is shawndcrews10@yahoo.com . i hope this message finds you in high spirits and amped for Christ. hope you too will start to journal through blog so we can all share in your joys of life. love you guys!!! GO COCKS!!

is it Christ speaking to me? is it Satan toying with me? what is going on? these are my three questions immediately as i am faced with opposition.  I have frat brothers that need help, advice, love, and accountability.  i have a family looking for a bright spot in my life as my sister screws up her life. i have a relationship on the brink of a beautiful marriage and at the same time could end tomorrow.  so much instability with all that is in my life, being that i crave consistency i dont really know where to begin.

my fraternity is doing well in the sense that we are still alive, yet we are struggling to understand what its means to be brothers. we are not serving anyone but ourselves, i cannot seem to shepherd these guys back to Christ enough to get them away from sin, there is pride and jealousy brewing in some of the members, followed by the pledges feeling inadequate as they fail the first pledge quiz tonight. our lives are so crazy right now and nobody really knows which way is up. im just plugging away hoping that at some point in time Christ will allow my feet to take hold.  i will gladly tow this fraternity as its my last semester.  i will do the required work to lay a firm enough foundation based on Christ and what He alone did for us. thats why we do what we do. then on top of that we have people casting judgements on us and they dont even have the full perspective of the collective. two cases of bad interactions have prompted rules against us. this is a slap in the face and i will not stand for my brothers, my fraternity or my own name to be slandered in this way. so on that battle i have to seek out these contributors and seek truth and pursue justice with them all the while keeping it in perspective and pushing out of loving humility. i know tough, right? tonight i spoke to them about getting back to the roots of brotherhood, being prayerful, respectful, accountable, committed, trustworthy, dependable, honest, and loyal to the cause of the Kingdom. i just want them to be CHRISTIAN MEN that really want to do the will of God Himself instead of their own.

then the struggles of my family. today i heard such a blessing from my dad. after my sister continually slapped my parents in the face with failed drug tests, broken curfews, bad attitudes and disrespect, the have kicked her out. its the tough love and justice that i feel has been needed for the past three years. they have tried to be compassionate and tried to be forgiving but my sister has really pushed it to the max. my parents gave her the ultimatum of turn from your wickedness and reside with us in the home or leave until you choose to change.  this was awesome truth because my sister put on this front of caring about the family and pursuing the Lord when really she was just trying to skate by. this tough time will be such a test and hopefully God will wreck her life in the best way possible and mold her into the girl she could be.

relationships are hard in general.  they are even more complicated when you are on the verge of any change, in my case its marriage. Haley and i are so close yet so far and we have really been going rounds recently trying to find the compromise point to where we are both confident that this is God’s relationship. both fighting to put down selfishness and pride, its awesome. but its come to a head with “what should this season look like?” “what is too close to marriage without a ring involved?” both very plausible questions its just tough when you are 90% certain that this is the woman you are intended to marry and spend your life on earth with. you know?  we have entered into a time of serious prayer about the future. am i saying that we are on the verge of breaking this off? no i dont think so, however this could lead to it at some point. i just want to have her as my wife one day and i feel as if this would be a glorious union. its just tough to be in the staging gate and the staging bulbs frozen on red. i am sure that my God is awesome and answers the prayers of the faithful.

My prayer is this:

For kappa upsilon chi: please Lord show them the path that you have set out as a group.  show these men their individual roles in the great story that is life.  Lord you are the architect behind this brotherhood and you are the reason that we choose to fight with each other and for each other. what would you have us do in your good and perfect will? what do you need from us because we will go! no matter how much we kick and scream with each other we live for you all the same.

for my family i thank you Lord that you are showing my dad favor and strength. i am so glad that he has chosen to step up and lead my sister and lead my mother by supporting her. this has almost been the end of my family so many different times and you have seen us through every time. thank you Lord for your faith in my family and i thank you so much for the fact that i am a member of this family. i hope that one day i will be excited to see my sister in a new light as opposed to this distaste that i have for her name. i lift up my grandmother as she fights pneumonia. please Lord, keep her here as i am selfish and would like to be able to show her my future wife whether it be Haley or not.

for Haley and my relationship i just pray that over this week you would speak to both of us. Lord your the great and mighty counselor and i am in dire need of your word and support.  thank you so much for the opportunity to pray. its such a gift that you are there for my support because i would not have made it this far in life let alone this relationship without you. you are so awesome and i think that its because of You alone that Haley and i are here at this point. your a great and awesome God, please just show me your will. let me know where you want me to lead Haley. are we supposed to be together? are we going to be blessed with marriage and a family? i am craving an answer. we have kept our relationship centered around you and its kept us together thus far. thank you for the time that you have blessed me with in the fact that you have graced me with her presence and given me so much growth and knowledge through this relationship. your awesome and you are so perplexing in the most unique and mysterious ways. Lord i love you and i give this entire situation to you now in hopes that you would show me the path.

Lord for myself i pray that you would shield me from satan this week as i will be suffering from worldly fears and temptations. i love you and i want to serve you yet i am a sinful man that is all jacked up. i fight and i fight and i fight for things that i feel you have put before me. there is so much that i have kind of vomited up to you tonight and i dont know where to even begin in trying to sift through. i give it ALL to you. every grain of sand every speck of dust all of my crap is so small in the grand scheme. i am unworthy of your love and unworthy of all the blessings that you have already given me. thank you for good health, for a house, a car, loving family, great roommates, friends, brothers, and a heart filled with you. i was nothing without you and its so great knowing that you will not leave me. thank you so much for the promises that you give in your words. Jesus your my God and i will follow you, i pray that you would merely light the path that you would have me follow.

Its all for you! Thanks be to God, Amen.

 ¹²“But before all this, they will lay hands on you and persecute you. They will deliver you to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name. ¹³This will result in your being witnesses to them. ¹⁴But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. ¹⁵For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. ¹⁶You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. ¹⁷All men will hate you because of me. ¹⁸But not a hair of your head will perish. ¹⁹By standing firm you will gain life.” – LUKE 21:12-19

 ¹What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? ²You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. ³You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. ⁴ You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. ⁵Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? ⁶But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” ⁷Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

MAN THAT IS AWESOME!!! through our quarrel i noticed how we are both selfish, how we both want our own way instead of God’s, and through this “quarrel” we have become humble servants paired together yet again.  we have come back again. today we are taking a day of fasting each other in hopes of getting back to center with not only the one Christ but also with each other. we both need prayer because we are both tired. i am worn because i have been challenged and have been beaten up by satan.  Christ will rebuild me and will provide a chance for me to come to a place where He wants me.  i am so happy right now because through searching to understand what God’s will is in my life and in our relationship i see one thing remaining true, steadfast, and allows for quarrels to be forgiven because he beat everything in one single act.

and then for the fulfillment of all things previous and the providing of hope stands in this:

THE RESURRECTION!!!

I am so thankful that Christ has made a way for me to reconcile with Haley and that she forgives me, and supports me in my fight against satan. he will not beat me. i will not be beaten back because this same Christ that rose is in me!! i know it cause i feel Him. i see His works in and through me. i am so happy right now knowing that Christ allowed me to be tested and through my utter failure i give Him praise because i cannot do it! thank you guys for your prayers and i hope that this will provide some sort of inspiration as it has rejuvenated my soul!! I love and pray that you guys are seeing Christ in your life on a daily basis.

this has been the beginning of a great week!!! God has shown so much and has re-affirmed me in so many different ways. sunday night singing revelation song really just woke the beast. i am so stoked right now about everything.  there is so much stirring within my guys and all the people around me. its awesome because in my season of silence and listening i am getting to see with my own eyes God’s will being put into action. 

Ben Culpepper made a great display of faith and service with his compassion video monday before chapter, it brought me to tears. hurtful tears to begin with that at the end of the story became tears of overwhelming joy. i was at a loss for words because i got to see a COMPASSION video that showed the glorious sight of two men meeting for the first time. nothing special right, wrong.  these two guys had been connected through a letter of deepest encouragement and a $38 check every month.  a guy by the name of Mike had been sponsoring a Kenyan for about 20 years from the time that he was 20 years old.  his child was 7 in the beginning. this video was awesome because the Kenyan was speaking about his coming to Christ through COMPASSION ministries and how it had been the letters of Mike that really pushed him to go to bible school and become a pastor to return to Kenya himself.  well the announcer asked him, after finishing his testimony, if he had ever physically met Mike.  he responded “no i haven’t” the announcer then said, ” would you like to? because he is back stage waiting to meet you.”  He instantly broke down in tears and as mike neared him the sobbing became more and more intense. such a great love for this man who he had never met and the two men were connected through Christ.  it was so intense to see the two men embrace for the first time.

God is really just showing me His glory and His love. i am ever thankful that someone once showed me that love. i was in no way an orphan in Kenya but in a sense we were all orphans before we were adopted into Christ’s family. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!?! we are adopted into the family that never ends and is always growing!! it was even more awesome because scripture was telling me about the vineyard workers and the vineyard owner in the parables of Matthew. that we are all equal and that its Gods grace that saves us and makes us all whole. its awesome that God goes out every day and searches for us through his ministers on earth, YOU AND ME!!! we are here to serve!! it’s so awesome that the God that made the earth wants each and every one of us, and made the way to him through Jesus Christ. i am in awe. i hope that you reading this really understands the magnitude. i am so thankful that Christ has given me the blessings that i have been given even though i DONT deserve them, because i am a sinner and deserve hell. plain and simple. hope you find rest in knowing that God is searching for us every day and we have to take up our cross daily. it’s the greatest sign of victory. the cross didnt beat Christ and kill him, Christ beat the cross by living on in resurrection!! amen! hallelujah! hope you have a good day/week. if you need me get with me. crewss@mailbox.sc.edu or call/text me!

 ⁴²And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. ⁴³And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. ⁴⁴And all who believed were together and had all things in common. ⁴⁵And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. ⁴⁶And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, ⁴⁷praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

And why do we do all this? Because we love Jesus. haha. its so simple of a concept that we as Christians really really suck at.  Last night in chapter for KAPPA UPSILON CHI (Christian Frat at USC) we had a lot of criticism brought up and we worked through alot of dirt that was laying between alot of the brothers. Lack of passion to serve and lack of everything and these verses stuck. As Ben read them it just stuck. we haven’t got the unity and we dont attend the church together and we dont break bread together. Not to mention we dont do anything IN REMEMBRANCE of HIM. We have lost sight of what we need to be focusing on and its killing me. During the criticism both Joel Wilkes and myself turn to Romans 12.  Joel goes to the heart of Love and us not loving (verse 9) and i went straight to verse 3. Actives think to highly of themselves and we dont have any respect for the fraternity and what God has ordained. so i lay down the gauntlet now, STEP UP AND SERVE!!! Christians, everyone who claims the name!!! SERVE!!! thats what we are called to do is serve. So i say this in encouragement. We are all saved by grace and its awesome that we have been given it to us freely. So lets repent as false Christians and serve each other, serve non-believers, and overall serve God. Thats what we are called to do as true believers. I love you guys and this morning i woke up to see a beautiful rainbow thus symbolizing the promise. I am so glad that God shows his face like that! Thank God! I love you guys and i pray for you that you will be encouraged and fired up to serve the Lord our God in everything we do! Much love!